Letters to Heaven

On January 14, 2012, I lost two of the most important boys in my life in a car accident. One went to prison, the other to the afterlife. The deceased male just happened to be my boyfriend. I wrote letters to my locked up buddy, and I thought, if only I could simply write a letter to HIM too..

Zach,
I used to hear about love at first sight on tv and think it was just nonsense; fairytale junk. Then I saw you. You were across the lunch table almost 4 years ago. You had your long curly hair and a purple hat. I never in my life had seen a smile the size of yours.. Or someone so tall.
That day, I had my lizard and everyone at the table was telling me to let them hold it. You just sat there with your hand stretched out, and I chose you.
When we began our relationship, it was like a dream to me and I never wanted it to end. I know I caused you some moments of distress and our relationship got worse before it got better. I only got a couple months of the "better" part before you passed away.
I cling on to my memories of you with all the strength I have. How we would sneak out to see each other without caring if we got in trouble, how I would sneak you onto my bus, how you would eat with only one hand during lunch so you could hold me with the other, your funny pranks, your laugh, everything.
I never loved a boy like I loved you. I'm sorry for the time I didn't have with you , but more grateful for the time I DID have.
You're on my mind everyday, and in my heart with even more certainty. I hope the whole afterlife thing is real so I can see you again someday.
I love you, and always will for the rest of eternity.
Sam